41 - Teaching kids to pray
- rcbarbas
- Jan 19, 2024
- 17 min read
This Bible study is quite similar to what I wrote titled Jesus’ prayers. But the exception is at the end of this one – teaching kids to pray.
Matthew 6:9-13 “9 “This, then, is how you should pray: “‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name,10 your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. 11 Give us today our daily bread. 12 And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. 13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.’” (NIV version)
The New King James version probably states the beginning a bit more clearly. Matthew 6:9 “In this manner, therefore, pray: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name…” (NKJ version)
The Lord’s prayer is misused, to a certain extent, by many people; they recite it as a prayer when Jesus said “this is how you should pray” (NIV) not intending a word for word recitation. The NKJV says to pray “in this manner”, or pray these thoughts, not necessarily these words. Surely there’s nothing wrong with saying the exact same words, but that falls short of what Jesus was saying. We are to pray to God for our individual concerns, but we should pray the same basic framework. Praise God in heaven, express our desires for His will to be done above all else, thank Him for providing for us, ask Him to forgive us and protect us, etc. But, individually, one person may be thanking Him for providing a new job while another person may be asking Him to cure cancer or protect their children from Satan and the world. Jesus said to follow that pattern in our prayer, not recite it as a prayer. (Again, nothing is wrong with reciting it, but recitation takes away the personality of the prayer, and prayer is your conversation with God. If I had a conversation with someone about patriotism, how much personality is in the conversation if I just recite the pledge of allegiance to the American flag?)
In Jesus’ recorded prayers He always said other things besides the exact words of “The Lord’s Prayer” above; His own prayers show that Matthew 6:9-13 is an example to follow not a recitation for a successful prayer life.
Notice that Jesus’ prayers focused on God’s will over His own. In the prayers He made, in the garden of Gethsemane, He repeatedly said He didn’t want to die on the cross, but even at that He asked that the Father’s will be done above His own. Each of the gospels cover these prayers a little differently, but they show that Jesus’ main concern was not what He wanted, in His human incarnation, but what God, as the creator of all, wanted.
Matthew 26:39, 42 “39 Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” 42 He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.””
Mark 14:32-36, 38, 39 “32 They went to a place called Gethsemane, and Jesus said to his disciples, “Sit here while I pray.” 33 He took Peter, James, and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. 34 “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,” he said to them. “Stay here and keep watch.” 35 Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him. 36 “Abba, Father,” he said, “everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.”” “38 Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”39 Once more he went away and prayed the same thing.”
Luke 21:36 “36 Be always on the watch, and pray that you may be able to escape all that is about to happen, and that you may be able to stand before the Son of Man.””
Luke 22:31, 32, 42, 44 “31 “Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat. 32 But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.” … 42 “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” … 44 And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.”
John 17:”1After Jesus said this, he looked toward heaven and prayed: “Father, the hour has come. Glorify your Son, that your Son may glorify you. 2 For you granted him authority over all people that he might give eternal life to all those you have given him. 3 Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. 4 I have brought you glory on earth by finishing the work you gave me to do. 5 And now, Father, glorify me in your presence with the glory I had with you before the world began. 6 “I have revealed you to those whom you gave me out of the world. They were yours; you gave them to me and they have obeyed your word. 7 Now they know that everything you have given me comes from you. 8 For I gave them the words you gave me and they accepted them. They knew with certainty that I came from you, and they believed that you sent me. 9 I pray for them. I am not praying for the world, but for those you have given me, for they are yours. 10 All I have is yours, and all you have is mine. And glory has come to me through them. 11 I will remain in the world no longer, but they are still in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name, the name you gave me, so that they may be one as we are one. 12 While I was with them, I protected them and kept them safe by that name you gave me. None has been lost except the one doomed to destruction so that Scripture would be fulfilled. 13 “I am coming to you now, but I say these things while I am still in the world, so that they may have the full measure of my joy within them. 14 I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. 15 My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. 16 They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. 17 Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. 18 As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. 19 For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified. 20 “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, 21 that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. 22 I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one— 23 I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. 24 “Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world. 25 “Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. 26 I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.””
Matthew 14:19-21 “19 And he directed the people to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people. 20 They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over. 21 The number of those who ate was about five thousand men, besides women and children.”
Jesus’ prayers included glorifying/praising God, the Father, asking that the Father’s will be done ahead of Jesus’ own human will, protect believers, He thanked God for providing food. Notice He did all of the things He mentioned in “the LORD’s prayer” except ask for personal forgiveness of sin; He is God and did not sin. I’m counting “lead us not into temptation” to be the same as “protect them from the evil one” in John 17:15; I think that’s a fair application of the phrase.
Jesus’ prayers contained all of the points He told us to include in our prayers. We probably don’t have to include every point in each and every prayer we make. I don’t think God has an angel keeping score and counting points against us for not asking Him to provide food for us, or heal the sick every time we pray. The point is simply this, Jesus gave us a template to follow when we pray. He did not limit our prayers to those exact topics, otherwise we couldn’t pray for healing, employment, patience, or any of the myriad things we find important in our lives. He followed the pattern He gave us; it is recorded that when He thanked God for the fish and bread when He fed 5,000 men plus women and children, in Matthew 14, He also asked that the Father's will be done and that the chosen people be protected from Satan in John 17; He used an opportunity to thank God for food, again, as he did when He fed the 4,000 in Matthew 15 at a different event. Other times He addressed additional topics and didn’t necessarily bring up each thing He mentioned in the LORD’s prayer every time He spoke with the Father.
Keep this in mind, it is not recorded that Jesus prayed and asked the Father for power to do miracles. It IS recorded, in Acts 10:38 (“… God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and power, and how he went around doing good and healing all who were under the power of the devil, because God was with him.”), that the power was given to Him by the Father. He was absolutely God (Colossians 1:19 says “For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him”), but He lived here in human form. Matthew 1:23 says “Behold, the virgin shall be with child, and bear a Son, and they shall call His name Immanuel,” which is translated, “God with us.” – notice it says Jesus is “God with us” not God’s son or some knock-off, once removed, relative. While here on earth He did not deem equality with the heavenly form of God something He would adopt (Philippians 2:5, 6 “have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: 6 Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage”). Jesus, one of the three persons of the Godhead, took on human likeness and limited Himself to His human boundaries. All of the miracles Jesus performed while here were based on the power given to Him by God, the Father via Holy Spirit. Jesus didn’t pull any “God” stuff out of His bag of tricks to perform miracles; He just did God’s will and prayed a lot.
I would guess that Jesus’ prayers were far more intense than those of everyone else – ever. In Luke 20:44 (“And being in agony, He prayed more earnestly. Then His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground.”) it is recorded that Jesus prayed so intensely that He not only began sweating, but that His sweat was falling off Him like drops of blood. He was losing hydration while praying. That specific pray of Jesus was physical as well as mental and spiritual; we don’t have detailed recordings of His other prayers, and the description of this one is probably not fully encompassing, but it shares with us His effort here. I might have sweated while praying before, but I can guarantee you that it was because the room was uncomfortable or I was outside in the heat. Hardly, if, anyone lives up to Jesus’ standard of praying.
Elijah was a man who, I think, probably prayed harder and more than just about everyone else who has lived. God shut up the heavens from raining, at least on Israel, for three and a half years (1 Kings 17 & 18) and when Elijah asked for rain to return, God granted his prayer and sent rain and crops grew (James 5:17, 18). Elijah was taken from the earth, alive, by God, in a chariot of fire (2 Kings 2) and prophesied to come back before Jesus returns. (Malachi 4:5 “Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord.”). Elijah’s prayer was successful in raising a dead boy (1 Kings 17:17-24); it was successful in shutting the rain from Israel for three and a half years, then for turning the rain back on in 1 Kings 18. On Mt. Carmel, in front of 850 false prophets of Baal and Asherah (1 Kings 18:19), he also asked God to let it be known who really is God and God lit up Elijah’s sacrifice with fire from heaven. Elijah didn’t need a match; he had a successful prayer life.
Moses also comes to mind. He was God’s chosen man on earth to complete some outstanding endeavors, by the power of God. When Moses witnessed the burning bush, in Exodus 3, he was not recorded as being a particularly righteous, or powerful man. He was sort of a loser, who had been raised as an almost prince of Egypt, but was then living in a tent on the back side of the desert as a shepherd. He had murdered someone in Egypt and ran from the authorities. God called him to His purpose and Moses became a man who is discussed, honored and respected in every major religion of the western hemisphere. As God used Moses and spoke to him personally, Moses’ prayers became intense and life changing.
We can think that Moses had it better than the rest of us because God called him to Himself and spoke with him personally. When Moses prayed during the plagues of Egypt, stuff happened every time and he had assurance that what he was doing was from the God of creation. He had no reason to doubt anything; God came and got him and put him to work and he saw results of everything almost immediately. What we don’t much think about is the agony that Moses endured. He was told to return to the land where he was a wanted murderer. God was pretty close to killing Moses, in Exodus 4:24-26, because he hadn’t circumcised his son, which was a directive to Abraham and his offspring – Moses had failed to live up to what he was supposed to do as an Israelite. Sure, his staff had turned into a serpent in the desert, and then turned back into a staff when he picked it up. Sure, he met his brother in the desert while returning to Egypt, as God had told him would happen. The miracles were confirmation that he was obeying God; but leaving Egypt and leading a couple of million people into the desert had to be a stress. The people turned against Moses when things didn’t go well.
In Numbers 1:45-46 we are told that Moses wrote that the second month of the second year after the Israelites came out of Egypt “45 So all who were numbered of the children of Israel, by their fathers’ houses, from twenty years old and above, all who were able to go to war in Israel— 46 all who were numbered were six hundred and three thousand five hundred and fifty.” 603,550 twenty years old and older men who could fight would probably represent about 2 million people in total – people have done this math, still others have said it was about 30,000 total (If Moses numbered the fighting men as over 600,000, we can probably dismiss anyone who says the entire Israeli population was 30,000). When Jacob went to Egypt they were a total of 70 people; they had 430 years to multiply; regarding Israel, Exodus 1:7 says “But the children of Israel were fruitful and increased abundantly, multiplied and grew exceedingly mighty; and the land was filled with them.” Increasing from 70 to 30,000 over 430 years is not nearly as abundant and exceedingly mighty as much as 2 million. But you are free to think what you wish.
Moses saw God feed a couple of million people (to my understanding) in the desert daily (in Exodus 16, EVERY day, except on the sabbath {Saturday}, God supplied enough bread-like food that tasted like honey {manna} in the mornings and quail for dinner in the evening; on the day before the sabbath God supplied twice as much as other days so that the Israelites didn’t have to work on the sabbath) and provide water for them; yet they wanted to stone him in Exodus 17:4. There were many, many things that occurred in the desert over forty years that weren’t recorded and God had Moses leading the Israelites the entire time. That is a phenomenal track record and it required prayer, prayer and some more prayer. Moses could NOT have done it without talking with God daily.
Surely Moses and Elijah prayed for the some of the same things that Jesus prayed for, honoring God, thanking Him for the provisions He supplied, asking for protection from Satan’s attacks, asking for forgiveness of sins for themselves and the Israelite nation, etc. I would bet that they prayed for many more topics than what Jesus mentioned in the “LORD’s prayer” and I would certainly guess that their prayers didn’t just mention “Our Father, who art in heaven”. They were probably on the level of deep discourse. Do we pray on that level?
In John 14:12-14, Jesus said “12Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do he will do also; and greater works than these he will do, because I go to My Father. 13 And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 14 If you ask anything in My name, I will do it.” – but that requires a LOT more self-control and faith than just about anyone is willing to muster. We can’t just shout “Hey Jesus, will you give me a Volvo?” and have it delivered. In John 15:7, Jesus followed that with “If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish and it will be done for you”; there are constraints on prayer; remain in Jesus and have His words remain in you (that means living what He said, not just believing it). Read the bible, live the bible; our prayers should follow the example He gave us. When He said “ask whatever you wish and it will be done for you” I’m pretty sure He didn’t intend that if I ask for my own solar system, I’d get it. Remaining in Jesus and having His word remain in us first means that we must put God’s will above ours, and I’d be willing to bet that God’s will is not for me to have my own solar system.
If you read Peter’s, James’, John’s, and Paul’s epistles in the New Testament you will see that they were humble and prayed a lot. They underwent a complete change of character. Their entire concentrations were on Jesus; they stated that they were witnesses to Jesus/God in human form and they willingly died as martyrs because of the truth of their testimony. Peter (in Acts 9:36-40) and Paul (in Acts 20:7-12) were allowed to raise people from the dead. We only have a couple of recorded instances where resurrections occurred by prayer and calling someone to get up (Elijah, Jesus, etc.), but there may have been others. Peter and Paul were successful in prayer because they were following God’s will by being prayerful at all times, not because they said a prayer when someone died. (praying at all times in - Philippians 4:6, 7 “6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” means that we are continually mindful that God is the complete ruler and sovereign owner of everything. Ephesians 6:18 says “With every prayer and request, pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be alert with all perseverance and every request for all the saints”). James, Jesus’ earthly half-brother {same mom, Mary, but James’ dad was Joseph}, was known as “Old Camel Knees” because of the callouses on his knees due to the time he invested on his knees praying to God asking for forgiveness for people.
Our prayers should, at a minimum, be consistent, include praise and worship for God, putting God’s will ahead of ours, thanking and asking Him for provisions for life, admitting and asking for forgiveness for our sins, and asking for protection from Satan and his demons.
Jesus, restricting Himself to being a human, raised Lazarus from the dead; Peter, Paul and Elijah also raised people from the dead, because of their successful prayer lives. There have probably been may others resurrected and healed who were not recorded in the bible, but it’s only due to successful prayers, not “Oh Lord, gimme gimme gimme”.
“Dear Lord, I behaved today, can I have a Ferrari?” is probably not a good, effective prayer.
I needed to present Jesus’ prayers to discuss teaching kids to pray. The bible says, in Luke “Now it came to pass, as He was praying in a certain place, when He ceased, that one of His disciples said to Him, “Lord, teach us to pray, as John also taught his disciples.””. Notice that these are grown men, or at least late teenagers, asking Jesus to teach them to pray. He was praying and when He stopped they asked for a prayer lesson. We don’t know if He was praying aloud or quietly, so we don’t know the entire circumstance; but we know they asked for His teaching. They probably witnessed Him praying and that sparked the conversation.
As I’ve said earlier, not every point of the “Lord’s prayer” need be repeated in every instance of prayer. If you’re asking God to heal someone, you can probably skip asking Him to bless the meal.
Earlier I wrote that we can find every point He made in the “Lord’s prayer”, in other recorded prayers. My thoughts on teaching a kid to pray are probably quite simple – teach and repeat. Discuss the 5 points Jesus made with the child. (Lee Jenkins, pastor of Eagles Nest church in Roswell GA, compiled these 5 P’s in a message regarding the Lord’s prayer in Dec 2022)
1. Praise: Hallowed be your name
2. Priority: His will be done above our own
3. Provision: Thank Him for provisions (daily bread, health, transportation, home, etc.)
4. Pardon: Forgive us for our sins
5. Protection: Deliver us from evil, protect us from our own behaviors as well as outside temptation
Set aside some time every day/evening where you can sit with the child(ren) and read a chapter, or section (depending on their attention span), of the bible. Pray aloud with the child(ren). Parent prays first then the kid(s). They will usually repeat much of what you said, and that’s just perfect.
The goal is to have them become comfortable praying aloud with parents, then it becomes easier to pray in front of other people. Most people don’t have much confidence in their prayers. They believe someone else will think they can’t pray well. Teach your kids that they’re having a conversation with God. No one has the right to tell you that your prayer is better or worse than someone else’s. Miriam’s prayer (song) in Exodus 15 is a marvelous prayer but no one else should be expected to pray like that. David’s prayer in Psalm 51 is phenomenal; it is probably THE prayer for forgiveness, but no one else should be expected to pray like that. Each prayer is an individual petition to our Creator from the person saying it. Be sure that your child(ren) doesn’t/don't feel compared to others or feel like they fall short of anyone’s expectations.
They will follow your lead. As they pray more, repeat the lesson of the Lord’s Prayer. It’s a prayer of specific ideals. It’s not a prayer of recitation; the Muslims do that with their false god Allah. Encourage your kids to branch out in the things they say and pray for, to include extended family, friends and God’s elect across the planet.
Notice that the Lord’s prayer doesn’t ask for a job, it doesn’t ask for healing, it doesn’t include having a car or donkey. It covers things that are important, but not everything. We are allowed to ask for other things not specifically mentioned by Jesus. Jesus didn’t mention asking for a safe flight to Jamaica, but we’re allowed to include that if we need to. The Lord’s prayer doesn’t include “please help Larry be a Christian”, but that is a staple of our prayer life – praying for others, and there is no more important event than salvation.
The idea is to train your child(ren) to pray the ideas as Jesus directed.
Review the Lord’s prayer often so that they understand the points of the prayer.
Have them pray aloud after you pray aloud.
Allow them to copy what you say. As they mature they will start branching off into their own concerns.
Include praying for the church – local and catholic (universal),
Learn the Apostle’s creed and teach it to your children so that they know it as well.
The Apostles Creed:
I believe in God, the Father almighty, Creator of heaven and earth, and in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord, who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died and was buried; he descended into hell; on the third day he rose again from the dead; he ascended into heaven, and is seated at the right hand of God the Father almighty; from there he will come to judge the living and the dead.
I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy catholic Church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and life everlasting. Amen.
This will reaffirm that the child(ren) learn the basic beliefs of the Christian church as well.
If they are taught something that conflicts with this, you can be assured that someone may be trying to teach them something that is theologically wrong. And know that the phrase “holy catholic church” in the Apostle’s Creed doesn’t not refer to the Roman Catholic Church with the Pope, cardinals, bishops and nuns, etc. The word “catholic” comes from the Greek word katholikos, καθολικός, which means “universal”. I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy catholic (universal) Church means that I believe in the “Holy Spirit”, the third person of the triune Godhead, and the bride of Jesus, the church. According to Revelation 21:9 “One of the seven angels who had the seven bowls full of the seven last plagues came and said to me, “Come, I will show you the bride, the wife of the Lamb.”” He is the groom; the church is the bride. That’s the church being discussed in the creed.
If someone is teaching something that counters this creed it is fairly likely that they are not teaching the bible correctly. If your prayers align with the Lord’s prayer and this creed, you are probably on the right track.
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