42 - How Do You Lead Your Family?
- rcbarbas
- Jan 22, 2024
- 18 min read
Leading means someone taking charge
Moses: In Exodus 1 and 2 we find Moses was born into a slave family and placed in a basket (in a river with crocodiles) where the Princess of Egypt would find him, instead of having him put to death. We already see God’s provision (for safety) and predestination (protecting Moses for God’s purpose) at work. Moses grew up, the offspring of slaves, and lived in the King’s palace as a royal family member. Events led to him killing an Egyptian then running away, to the desert, to prevent his own execution by the Pharaoh. In Exodus chapter 3 God comes to tell Moses why he, Moses, exists – to free and lead the Israelites from Egypt.
God led Moses to a burning bush and called to him from, apparently, the air in the area. In Exodus 3:4 “...God called to him from within the bush, “Moses! Moses!””; the invisible God called to Moses, from inside a non-consumed bush on fire, on a mountainside in the desert. That has to be an attention grabber. Then God told Moses WHY he had been called. In Exodus 3:10 – 12, the text says “10 So now, go. I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt.” 11 But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?” 12 And God said, “I will be with you.”
(Paraphrasing the statement) “I assigned you to do something and I will help you complete it. Now Get up and Boogie”. And the rest of the story is incredible. God performed ten plagues that swamped Pharaoh, and before the 7th plague, in Exodus 9:16, God told Moses to tell Pharaoh the following “But indeed for this purpose I have raised you up, that I may show My power in you, and that My name may be declared in all the earth.” God had EVERYTHING, that Moses was supposed to do covered, and planned. Even when Moses messed up in the desert by striking the rock for water in Numbers 20:9-11, God already had a plan for it.
Moses is considered to be huge amongst the Israelites, Muslims and Christians. Even non-religious people agree that Moses must have been some kind of phenomenal guy because history is so attentive of him.
Joshua: When Moses died, God already had a plan. In Joshua 1:1, 2 the text reads “1After the death of Moses the servant of the Lord, it came to pass that the Lord spoke to Joshua the son of Nun, Moses’ assistant, saying: 2 “Moses My servant is dead. Now therefore, arise, go over this Jordan, you and all this people, to the land which I am giving to them—the children of Israel.” Joshua was told to get up and get moving. The land had already been marked, the people there don’t even know that they are about to be leaving, but My plan is for you to lead. In verse 5 God said “No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life; as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you nor forsake you.” After being Moses’ right-hand man in the desert, Joshua had seen God stay by Moses in good times and “bad” times, so he must have understood what it meant for his creator to say “I will not leave you”. Four times, in verses 6, 7, 9, 18 God reminded Joshua that he would need to be strong and courageous to do his job – but God had already preceded those reminders with “as I was with Moses, so I will be with you”.
Gideon: Joshua had died and the nation was led by Othniel, Ehud and Deborah, then some dude named Gideon was threshing wheat and hiding it from the Midianites when he got a visit from an angel. In Judges 6:12, the angel said “The Lord is with you, you mighty man of valor!” and Gideon asked “say what?” actually, in verses 15, 16, he said “O my Lord, how can I save Israel? Indeed my clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father’s house.” 16 And the Lord said to him, “Surely I will be with you, and you shall defeat the Midianites as one man.” Gideon is the guy who asked God (in Judges 6:36-40) to keep the ground dry and make the fleece wet one night, then the next night he asked “would you do that again, but in reverse this time – that way I’ll really know that it’s God almighty talking” and God did it. God promised that He would be with Gideon, and then proved it before putting Gideon into battle. Then, with Gideon taking three hundred men into battle against the Midianites and Amalekites, as described in Judges 7:12 “The Midianites, the Amalekites and all the other eastern peoples had settled in the valley, thick as locusts. Their camels could no more be counted than the sand on the seashore.” God won the battle for Israel by causing the enemies to put each other to the sword. That was God fulfilling His word to Gideon.
David: King Saul had messed up and God had told Samuel that He was taking the kingship from Saul and his family. In 1 Samuel 16:1, speaking of the soon to come King David, God told Samuel ““How long will you mourn for Saul, seeing I have rejected him from reigning over Israel? Fill your horn with oil, and go; I am sending you to Jesse the Bethlehemite. For I have provided Myself a king among his sons.””.
David wrote most of the Psalms, and we can see his distress many times. This distress actually foretells of distress in Jesus’ life; i.e. enemies after him for no tangible, warranted reason. David was chosen by God to run God’s chosen nation. God was with David as he did what he was created to do. Sure, he committed adultery with Bathsheba, then had Uriah killed in battle; but God resolved that with David during a meeting with the prophet Nathan in 2 Samuel 12. As for ruling the nation of God’s chosen people, God appointed a man to do the job, and God was with David while he was ruling.
God did not choose people who might have trouble doing the job. God chose people who would have difficulty; all of us will. In 1 Corinthians 12, when Paul was dealing with his thorn in the flesh, God said that His strength was shown in Paul’s weakness. God NEVER appoints someone to do something that they can do, but instead appoints people who can only get a task completed by God’s influence and power. We ALL have to rely on our creator. No one was made to be strong enough to do it him(her)self. Sometimes things turn out seemingly well for someone and we think it was something they did, but that’s just not the fact. Michael Jordan played basketball tremendously well, but that’s not leading people to Jesus and salvation. Leading people to salvation REQUIRES God
All of these men had trouble doing their appointed jobs. Everyone will.
Each of these men had to ask God for help all along the way during their leadership roles. In Exodus 3:10-13 “Then Moses said to the Lord, “O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither before nor since You have spoken to Your servant; but I am slow of speech and slow of tongue.” 11Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh, and that I should bring the children of Israel out of Egypt?” 12 So He said, “I will certainly be with you. And this shall be a sign to you that I have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you shall serve God on this mountain.” 13 Then Moses said to God, “Indeed, when I come to the children of Israel and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they say to me, ‘What is His name?’ what shall I say to them?””
Moses was not excited to lead the Israelites; recall that the Pharaoh already wanted him dead. How did he lead? He did what God told him to do. In Exodus chapter 4, God told Moses to drop his staff and it turned into a serpent, then God told him to put his hand into his bosom (inside his clothes, next to his skin) and when he brought it out it was leprous, he put it back in and it came out clean. God showed Moses a couple of the miracles He was going to allow Moses to enact for Pharaoh; He also told Moses about turning the water into blood. God gave Moses more evidence that He was going to do miracles than He gives most people, but Moses’ mission was much greater than most people’s.
Moses went back to Egypt, with his brother Aaron, and got an audience with the Pharaoh and did what God told him to do.
All through the book of Exodus there are lots of times the bible says “The LORD spoke to Moses saying...”, During the plagues, we can note that the conversations were “Moses told Pharaoh...” “The LORD said to Moses...” “Pharaoh said...” “Thus says the LORD...”. Not to cut Moses short, but there was basically a dialogue between God and Pharaoh with Moses as the middle man. By the time they got through several of the plagues there could have been no doubt in Moses’ mind that whatever God told him to say was going to happen. By the time they got to the 10th plague Moses had to be absolutely convinced the God was running the show.
How did Moses lead? By doing what God told him to do, and trusting God to take care of everything.
Joshua had been with Moses, for years, in the desert; he was, sort of, Moses’ right-hand man. He saw the miracles God performed in the desert; he saw Moses leading the Israelites under God’s direction, and probably most of all, Joshua saw that when God promised something He delivered - without doubt.
After Moses died, the Israelites mourned for 30 days, described in Deuteronomy 43:8, 9 “8 And the children of Israel wept for Moses in the plains of Moab thirty days. So the days of weeping and mourning for Moses ended. 9 Now Joshua the son of Nun was full of the spirit of wisdom, for Moses had laid his hands on him; so the children of Israel heeded him, and did as the Lord had commanded Moses.”. Then the first recorded thing God did was to talk with Joshua. In Joshua 1:1, 2 the texts reads – “1 After the death of Moses the servant of the Lord, it came to pass that the Lord spoke to Joshua the son of Nun, Moses’ assistant, saying: 2 “Moses My servant is dead. Now therefore, arise, go over this Jordan, you and all this people, to the land which I am giving to them—the children of Israel.”
God told Joshua that he would be Moses’ replacement, then four times in Joshua chapter 1, God told Joshua to be strong and courageous; in verses 6, 7, 9, 18. In verse 5 God told Joshua that He would be with him as He was with Moses. After all that Joshua had seen he was told to just climb aboard the caravan in the front seat and keep on moving. In Joshua 3:7, God told Joshua that He would exalt him in the eyes of the Israelites so that they would know that God was with him just as He had been with Moses. Right off the bat, they crossed the Jordan river and God stopped the water flowing so that they crossed on dry ground. The next thing God did was at least as miraculous; He had the Israelites march around the city of Jericho once a day for six days, then seven times on the seventh day – then they yelled and the walls of the fortified city just fell down and God gave the Israelites the plunder of the city. If that’s not a bang for a start I have no idea what would be.
In Joshua 1:8, God told Joshua “This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.”. The key to success is to meditate on God’s word, trust Him and do what He says.
When Jeremiah was told what his purpose was to be, God said, in Jeremiah 1:5, 7, 8 “5Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified you; ordained you a prophet to the nations.” ... 7 But the Lord said to me: “Do not say, ‘I am a youth,’ For you shall go to all to whom I send you, And whatever I command you, you shall speak. 8 Do not be afraid of their faces, For I am with you to deliver you,” says the Lord.”. Again, God told someone that He had something for them to do and that He was going to be with them while they did it.
How did the leaders in the bible lead? They did what God told them to do, and were confident that God was leading them, as He said He would. I wouldn’t suggest that things went easy for any of them. God assigned them HUGE tasks and then gave them reason to believe that He would be with them as they performed their duties. Rest assured they usually had worries and doubts, but they kept at it and God was ALWAYS there.
Suppose that you were sitting in your yard and a tree just caught on fire, but didn’t burn, and a loud voice started speaking to you from the air. That would be an attention getter, wouldn’t it? In the movie Smokey and the Bandit Jackie Gleason kicked some teenagers in the behind and said “That’s an attention getter!” I’d bet that a burning tree would grab your attention even more than a sheriff with a bad attitude.
Joshua walked through the Red Sea on dry ground with Moses, and then saw the Jordan river stop flowing when he crossed it on dry ground later – that’s an attention getter as well.
In Acts 9:3, 4 and 7, Luke recounts Saul’s first encounter with Jesus/God. “3 As he journeyed he came near Damascus, and suddenly a light shone around him from heaven. 4 Then he fell to the ground, and heard a voice saying to him, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting Me?” 7 And the men who journeyed with him stood speechless, hearing a voice but seeing no one.”. In verse 8, Saul had been blinded by the light (not like the Manfred Mann Earth Band version). In verses 15 & 16 God told Ananias, a man in Damascus, that he should remove the blindness from Saul and tell him that he was to be God’s chosen vessel to spread God’s word – and that he would suffer many things because of Jesus. We don’t usually experience events like these, but we have God’s scriptures that relate the events to us so that we can have the same faith.
Why did they lead? The men in the bible experienced God first hand and developed faith in Him. God gave them marching orders and they got up and did what He said to do. Granted, it was probably difficult most of the time. Dealing with people is difficult. We get mad at one goober when they bother us; how difficult must it be to deal with several million of them?
Not all of the men in the bible did what they were told to do, and some of their failures are recorded. In Judges 4, Deborah told Barak that God wanted him to take 10,000 men of Naphtali and Zebulun and go beat up a guy Sisera. Barak said he’d only go if Deborah went with him. Deborah said if you won’t go, I’ll go with you and the LORD will give the victory to a woman – not you. Barak did just that; he didn’t go as directed, but took Deborah; in the long run, in Judges 4:21, God gave Sisera’s defeat to a woman named Jael, in a tent, using a hammer to put a tent peg through his noggin..
Judas Iscariot was with Jesus for three years during His ministry. At the end, Judas betrayed Jesus – God – and paid for it with his life. He betrayed Jesus (Luke 22:47, 48 “47And while He was still speaking, behold, a multitude; and he who was called Judas, one of the twelve, went before them and drew near to Jesus to kiss Him. 48 But Jesus said to him, “Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?””) and then committed suicide. (Acts 1:18 “Now this man purchased a field with the wages of iniquity; and falling headlong, he burst open in the middle and all his entrails gushed out.”). The kiss on the cheek was Judas’ agreed upon way of identifying Jesus to the crowd that was there to arrest Jesus.
We can see, from example, that it is possible to not engage the position that God has set for us, and we can see that it is much more acceptable and successful to do what we’re directed to do.
Moses led the Israelites; Joshua led the Israelites; Gideon and Jeremiah also led. But they were led by God. In the military, if a sergeant is told what to do by a Colonel, and the Sgt leads troops in an event, the Colonel is the ultimate leader. The Sgt is the guy who gets in with the people to get the job done, but, generally, the Colonel is the one who made provisions and plans for the event. God is the leader of whatever His directions are for us. Just as with Moses, Joshua, Gideon and the rest, God does not leave us to do the job on our own.
We don’t know enough to do it. We can’t save people; we don’t know how to get them to accept salvation either. Salvation is entirely Jesus’ job. Our job is just to tell people what He taught while He was here.
ALL Christians have the same commission; not one of us is exempt from what God told us to do. After Jesus’ resurrection, in Matthew 28:18-20, He said “18 ... “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”. Note that He said our job is only to teach and baptize; we are not charged with saving anyone. That is His job. He ONLY asked us to teach people what He taught while He was here. That does include studying to learn the material – 2 Timothy 2:15 says “Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.”. We are charged with teaching others, but studying first so that we know what we’re talking about. 1 Peter 3:15 says “...Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect”. You cannot give a reasonable answer without knowing the material, and you cannot know the material without studying.
This doesn’t mean you have to cram three semesters of bible college into a single afternoon of reading. Studying something is usually a time consuming, steady project. Once you learn something new, it poses new questions, so that makes you learn more about the topic already at hand. Conversations will bring up new questions, so you have to read or ask more questions. Studying does NOT intend that you sit in a classroom or sit and read a book. Conversations can be study time.
BUT... the bottom line is that ALL Christians have been charged with teaching others what Jesus came and taught. If you know a little more than someone else you can teach them that much.
So, whether you’re a parent who doesn’t know the bible very well, or a Theologian who knows the bible quite well, we are all supposed to be teaching others what we know and continue learning for ourselves. Usually, where are people going to learn about the bible if someone doesn’t teach them? (sometimes, a person will study on his/her own, but most often someone else has to get it started and help) Romans 10:14 briefly discusses this, “How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? 15 And how can anyone preach unless they are sent? As it is written: “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!” (Isaiah 52:7)”
That’s why we are directed to go teach people; they won’t hear it without someone telling them.
Granted, it’s not comfortable trying to teach someone something that you don’t know very well, but on the bright side, there are books and an Internet with lots of good information for reference. There is also a LOT of misinformation out there, so I would suggest that you read and learn the Apostles Creed.
In the 1980s, when I worked in Saudi Arabia, we would read the Apostles Creed in church every Friday. (Thursday and Friday were the weekend days in Saudi Arabia back in the 1980s; their weekends are now Friday and Saturday.) The beauty of the Apostles Creed is that it covers the basics of Christian belief in one statement. Some Christian churches recite the Creed while most, seemingly, do not.
The creed reads “I believe in God, the Father almighty, Creator of heaven and earth, and in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord, who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died and was buried; he descended into hell; on the third day he rose again from the dead; he ascended into heaven, and is seated at the right hand of God the Father almighty; from there he will come to judge the living and the dead. I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy catholic Church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and life everlasting. Amen.”
A GREAT way to learn it is via a tool that works wonders – song. There are several versions out there which you can use; my favorite is by Rich Mullens. It can be found at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-61MaWETiU and the link includes lyrics so that you can read along and learn the words.
(The words in this song version are slightly off from the official written script, i.e. “I believe in God, the Father almighty, Creator of heaven and earth” vs. “I believe in God, the Father almighty, maker of heaven and maker of earth” The small word changes are to make the song syllables fit the rhythm of the music. “Creator” and “maker” are truly different words, so one could argue about the terminology, but I’ve been able to work through it easily enough, and I’m not the smartest guy who has ever read and heard this).
Anyway, the point is that if you know the faith you can learn to teach it to your kids/family/friends. If you hear “God doesn’t have a son” you can know that that is wrong.
God never asked anyone how they felt about being assigned a task. He told Moses to go and that He would be with him, He told Joshua to go and that He would be with him, He told Gideon to go and that He would be with him. Jesus sent the seventy-two on their specific missions ahead of His arrival (Luke 10); He told them to go and don’t take anything with them. In Matthew 28:19, 20 Jesus gave us a directive to go and teach; nowhere in the directive did He ask if anyone had objections or hesitations. The default always goes to 2 Timothy 2:15 “Study...”, Matt 28:19, 20 “Therefore go... and teaching them... everything I have commanded you...”, and Philippians 4:6 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God”.
Don’t forget when you pray, to pray in Jesus’ name. In John 16:23-25 Jesus said “...Most assuredly, I say to you, whatever you ask the Father in My name He will give you. 24 Until now you have asked nothing in My name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full.”. In John 14:13, 14 “13 And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 14 You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.”
I have long said that asking in Jesus’ name may be thought of as “name dropping”. You wouldn’t go to the White House and ask to see the President of the United States because you feel like talking to him; you would need some intermediary, an intercessor. Maybe you were invited by the White House Chief of Staff, so you could approach with an invitation from a reputable source.
Jesus told us that we need to approach God, and make requests via His name. Matthew Henry has much more to say on this at https://www.blueletterbible.org/Comm/mhc/Jhn/Jhn_016.cfm?a=1013023;
but he also states my point “Asking in Christ's name includes an acknowledgment of our own unworthiness to receive any favour from God, a complacency in the method God has taken of keeping up a correspondence with us by his Son, and an entire dependence upon Christ as the LORD of righteousness.”. Henry mentions asking ignorant questions (asking to learn), ambitious questions (how can we improve our lot), distrustful questions (if we don’t follow Jesus, then who can be followed, i.e. don’t trust anyone else), etc. There are many types of questions/requests, but they should all be made through Jesus as our reference and intermediary/intercessor.
How do we lead our families? Do what the bible says. Study for yourself, and to be able to teach; teach them what you learn; pray, and don’t forget to pray, then pray some more. You’ve been directed, by the creator of all that exists (inside and outside the universe), to go and teach; you’ve been given the information to teach; the Creator himself has said that He will be with you.
If you were a Sgt in the military and a random Colonel walked up and told you to do something, you’d most likely get right on it. If a General walked up and told you to do something, you would get right on it. We have a directive straight from the mouth of the Creator of all that exists, including Colonels and Generals, to do something, yet we’re hesitant. A General would NOT accept hesitancy but would press charges for failing to do what we’re told. What do you think the maker of all the Generals, Presidents, Emperors and Kings who ever lived will do if you ignore Him, and His directives?
He didn’t direct us to be Moses, Abraham, King David, Peter or Paul, etc. We weren’t directed to write new books in the bible. Most of us weren’t directed to lead nations and debate scientists with PhDs who may be wrong. Most of us weren’t directed to heal people or raise folks from the dead; just teach others what Jesus taught us.
We were told, in Ephesians 6:4 “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” and, in Ephesians 5:22-24 “22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” Husbands are clearly put in a position to lead families. If there is no dad, then that falls onto the mom. I didn’t write it, but I’ve read it. Responsibility has been assigned; we need to accept it now, or after death, answer for not accepting it.
We ignore Him, and fail to follow His commands, at our own peril.
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